Into the World of Girls.

I am currently sitting in a coffee shop. Splayed across the table is my laptop, scientific papers, and-- in contrast to the two sterile items-- a comforting latte breathing its warm breath in gentle curls of smoke. I like sitting next to the window so that I am right beside the streams of sunshine. Sunshine is known to enhance my academic performance.

As I read my scientific article, I noticed the girl beside me surreptitiously checking me out. Well, not so surreptitiously since I noticed. For those who don’t know, some girls check each other out. Not in the way that guys check girls out, but more to see if the girl is competition. Girls can be like cats. Possessive, cautious, and very conscious of status. This particular person looked me up and down. I could be wrong, but I interpreted this as her observing whether my clothes (jeans, shirt, flip flops) were better than hers. Obviously, my casual items did not compete with her work outfit. Sadly, I do not know the names of what she was wearing. (What do you call that button up collared shirt?) Ah…anyway, my clothes and backpack labeled me as a student which meant I was not a threat to queen bee. She returned to her conversation with her friend about purchasing a house. And how her boss had flirted with her.

[I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but she spoke very loudly. This also happens in elevators. Awkward moment: When two people are talking about a divorce and you pretend you’re not listening by staring at numbers. As if somehow you could will the elevator to get to your floor quicker.]

Thinking through all this, it must mean so much more when one can let down her guard and feel free to be herself. You in your designer-name clothes and me in my flip flops. Reframing this in my mind, this makes God's grace so much more liberating. We come just as we are. We are loved just as we are and are loved enough so that we aren't left as that. I wonder how many women, people, out there need to know that. We are not defined by our clothes, looks, real estate or relationship status. How many need this freedom and acceptance?

Hope.

To hope is to risk pain and to try is to risk failure
but risk must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life is
to risk nothing.

"The Lord is my portion,"says my soul.
"Therefore I hope in Him."
Lamentations 3

Blindness.

Today, I met up with a friend in Berkeley to interview him for one of my assignments. I'm very appreciative that he would open up to me about his disabilities and how it affected his life. Among his disabilities, the most obvious is his blindness.

We chose to meet in Berkeley because he used to go to school there and is familiar with all the streets and buildings. It was natural for me to loop my arm around his to direct him away from obstacles. As we walked down Shattuck and Durant, I noticed people staring at his cane and then at us. Sometimes, I think it's easier to be blind because you wouldn't know people were looking at you. And then, I understood a bit of why it's so hard to have a disability. With the cane, the very thing that enables you to be more independent also makes others aware of your disability. Is almost seems as if you're taking two steps forward and one step back.

If only people knew that he actually knew his way around better than I did. I was only his eyes, but he was my guide. Isn't it strange to think that even though he was physically blind, there were others who were truly blind because of their assumptions? Maybe we'd see better if we closed our eyes and just listened.

Give me your eyes so I can see
Give me your eyes for humanity.